Here is my burn journaling journey. Ten years ago, I hit an impasse in my life where everything began to go downhill in a horrifying domino effect. Financially, mentally, physically, health-wise and marriage-wise – everything was falling apart.
I was unhappy. My life had become stale and overwhelming – I was the hamster running frantically on a wheel. After 10 years of working at building a company, I was burnt out. At the time, I was in marketing and the whole industry was evolving. New competitors were growing (Giant competitors like Yelp and Google) and I felt trapped. Every small step I needed to take for my business was painful. Going into my office was difficult. Getting to the actual work was more difficult. Every challenge was a physical attack on my body. I was stressed and tired. I did not hear the happy customers, just the complaints. There was no growth and I had no energy to put toward growth. The stress was affecting my health. I was prone to every cold, I developed palpitations and my hair was falling out.
Added to this, I had two small children both in diapers! I never lost the 30 pounds that I had gained from pregnancy. I was spread thinly on the kid-front. When I wasn’t spending time with them, I felt guilt over being a “bad” mom. When I was spending time with them, I had guilt over not working hard enough.
At the same time, my husband ran his own business. He was distant, highly stressed and also miserable. I could not talk to him about my unhappiness without him taking it personally and I certainly didn’t have the energy to be there for him. We were both drained. Tapped out.
I didn’t have any time for friends. I felt alienated, alone. I also felt selfish and ungrateful and spoiled.
Something needed to change. I was at a breaking point. The universe was making it very clear that unless I made a shift and took action, it would do it for me.
And so I began journaling… I needed a safe place to unravel all of this and find my way. I began free writing. I would grab a few pages of my journal and write furiously, letting every thought and feeling pour out of me, unfiltered in all its selfish, superficial, egotistical glory. It was mean. It was ugly. I complained, I whined, I hated, I criticized, I judged – It was an exorcism of scum that covered the surface of my soul.
When I read what I have written, I horrified by what came out of me! And so I began burn journaling. I would burn the pages, allowing the fire to initiate a transformation. And so I began burn journaling
– To unravel the knot of emotions, thoughts and frustrations I was experiencing.
– To try to figure out what it was that I wanted.
– I wanted to explore how to move into a better place.
In short, and on a very basic level, I needed a safe “pressure release valve” where I could vent, complain and work through a very dark period in my life – without further jeopardizing my relationships.
To Free Write, means to write quickly, to deny nothing, to write it all down. When Burn Journaling, I became and remain authentic, unedited and unsuppressed. It is amazingly freeing to see the contents of your head on paper and then feel the deep letting go of it all in the fire.
When I Burn Journal, the words flow. I don’t care about the end outcome. I am letting writing pour out of my mind. It is not for anyone or anything. There’s no control. No editing. If I misspell a word, I don’t bother about it and just keep going. If I can’t think of a word I want to use, I move on. It is truly a place where the editor’s hat has been removed.
Every day I would work through what was bothering me. I asked myself in journal form what I wanted, what my intentions were, how to get out of the funk, etc.
I wanted to remove stress from my plate. Having two entrepreneurs in the house running two businesses, along with raising two small children was too much. I wanted to feel financially secure. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to get back to my normal weight instead of carrying around this extra 30 pounds on my 5-foot frame. I wanted to have more excitement in my marriage, more quality time with the whole family. I wanted a less stressed husband. I wanted more energy and passion. For far too long I felt as if my flame was muted, extinguished, stolen. I wanted to feel on fire again.
I poured out my desires on paper and burned them. I let go of the desire. Visualizing the fire taking it all and leaving me clam and clear – no attachments!
Elevate the burning ceremony. Firstly, it’s about the transformative properties of fire and the magical space created in a ceremony. Then it’s about buring so that no one else can see it…but that is only a tiny part of it.
Every day I would work through what was bothering me and then take the pages outside to a small space I had created in my garden where I would reflect on what I had written while watching my words disintegrate into smoke and ash. All the angst, frustration and depression that consumed me was consumed by the fire.
I began to journal extensively. I would journal for as long as an hour day and I began to parse out the chunks of my life that were falling apart. When I offered up the writings to the fire, I would sit with all of the feelings that arose, I would feel all the feels – just letting them be. Within that fire ceremony, there was a meditative and physical unfolding where transformation began to take place in my life.
When I began to engage and connect with the emotions that came up, they released me and left me clear. There was a distinct release as everything I burned let me go as I let it go, allowing me to move on and embrace growth and change.
Then change came. It was quick. It came out of nowhere. And it came only when I had written down exactly what it was I wanted and then let it go.
Out of the blue, I got a call from a private equity company looking to buy my business before the end of their financial quarter! I sold my online business in a month. Then I realized that I was losing weight! The joy that I had over the sale of my company had changed my energy level. I didn’t focus on exercise or dieting – I didn’t have the time or desire to suffer through being “hangry”. I lost 30 pound. My marriage and financial peace became stronger than ever. I got out of debt. I was healthier. I was fully of energy. I was happy.
I had gone from a life falling apart into high energy and purpose and witnessed the powerful manifesting produced by Burn Journaling.
I began to invite friends to burn journal with me. That mushroomed out into guiding burn journaling circles before yoga classes and grew even further to holding group burn journal ceremonies for new years and then monthly for new moon and full moons. Over the years, I have seen how burn journaling has changed people’s lives. I have witnessed people overcoming major traumatic events in their lives and reach the pinnacle of personal success and happiness with burn journaling.
Within the flames of the burning ceremony, you will learn let go of your shit and ignite your fire. Through writing and burning, you will reconnect with who you are, what you want and what course to take to get to where you want to be.
A Burn Journaling practice will help you if you’re struggling to overcome anything that you may be holding onto. If you are a hard time coping. If you are stumbling. If you have a dream or a goal that you want to fulfill. You will find that you have an inner guide, a connection with the divine that you can nurture and build like a muscle.
You will learn what it means and how it feels to “let go”. You will find that letting go becomes a faster process. You will be able to identify that space within yourself that connects with the divine so that the whole world reacts to you. you are inviting in the divine to make positive changes happen.
Take action! You are the captain of your boat and while you may feel thrown about in the vicious storm of life or cannot see very far beyond a limited horizon – that is today. You have the ability to set your course, to adjust your sails, to change your course tomorrow and for every tomorrow. Burn Journaling will help you learn your vessel and help you set the course you want and sail into all kinds of weather with purpose and confidence.